Are You My Mother?

Posted by: pam in Untagged  on

From the moment we discover we're going to be someone's mother to the time we actually give birth, our feelings run the gamut of hope, excitement, trepidation, fear, joy, helplessness, or a cocktail of all of those combined. Once the child arrives, we still have all of those feeling and more.  Gone, however, are the singular conversations, musical  stimulation exercises, or whatever we did in our one-way communications with our baby in utero. Beginning with our first meeting in the delivery room, a two way dialogue is born. A lusty cry, a whimper, full on bellowing or a trembling bottom lip are the initial words our baby uses. Weeks go by and these words are accompanied by a smile, and then a laugh. Months pass and we finally hear "MaMaMa" or "DaDaDa". Our baby grows and so does the vocabulary. As the list of words expands, "MaMa" and "DaDa" become "Mommy" and "Daddy". While our child grows and changes, these two words are what remain constant. The cadence varies depending on the situation; "Mommeeeee" comes in multiple tones from the mouth of a gleeful child, a frightened child, a child needing assistance, a frustrated child, a searching child, a child who has spilled something, or a child who is greeting with a run and a hug. Then, one day without warning, like the crack of lightning on a seemingly sunny day, it happens. One syllable, almost guttural, is uttered from the mouth of the child whose tears you wiped just that morning. Thinking you're hearing things, you disregard it and continue color coordinating your child's activity list. Thirteen seconds pass and it happens again. "MOM," your child says. "MOM, can I have some orange juice?" Multi-tasking goes into overdrive as you get the requested orange juice, continue to color coordinate and silently wonder while simultaneously attempting to analyze why you were called MOM at that moment. Juice ingested, coordination completed and after much analyzation the MOM incident deemed an anomaly, you move on, satisfied to be Mommy. Except you're not. Anymore. At an alarming rate (or maybe because it's summer, they're home more and have more requests), your child beckons. "Mom", "Mom", "Mom", "Mom", "Mom", leaving "Mommy" a distant memory. Not only is "Mommy" a thing of the past, "Daddy" is also no more, replaced with "Dad". No warning, no discussion, just two syllables etching the passage of time. It's funny how we feel about our children and the expression of their independence. Our pride and amazement when they formed their first word,  anticipation of what would come next and when, and relief of their being "on task" in development somehow changes into fear and longing when they take a step before we're ready. What we used to consider milestones now challenge our ability to let go. And while we used to celebrate every milestone, as they get older we tend to pick and choose, celebrating the ones for which we're ready, mourning the ones for which we're not. I can't tell you I don't miss being "Mommy". But I'm not going to dwell on it so much that I miss the moments being Mom.  


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written by paper writing service, November 11, 2011
what a sad story.... it makes me to feel upset
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written by OdessaPowers, March 15, 2012
I am affected because of your good enough facts just about this post. You have done this like the online writing jobs service and you deserved the best grant for it, I thougt!
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